The job search continues, and posts in various states of completion are still backlogged for the foreseeable future, but there is something to ponder in the meantime. What, if anything, can anyone do if they don't seem to have a spiritual side?
Now those who automatically dismiss any notion of a greater depth to reality than 20th century scientism will allow have nothing really to add. They would say there is no depth, no transcendence, no higher power, or anything of the kind. Got it.
But what about the rest of you?
As a personal hobby I have read and discussed primarily Buddhist and Christian history, philosophy, practice, and contemplative/mystical insights for nearly a decade, with seven of those years spent writing this blog on and off. I practiced a seated meditation and chanting service weekly in group format with a Chan group for 16 months, and after a couple of years in hiatus I tried being baptized, attending weekly Eucharistic services, and praying the Daily (aka Divine) Office for nearly two years. I also spent time regularly serving at a local soup kitchen.
Clearly then I am not someone who is openly hostile to the idea of spirituality or participation in religion. I think my interest has largely been a mixture of admiration for some Christian and Buddhist monks, intellectual curiosity, and social activism. But none of this has been connected in any way to a sense of the numinous, to the smallest spark of faith in something "more" to existence.
Some may classify part of my problem as a form of spiritual narcissism and materialism, wherein I am looking to "gain" something cool or special to enhance my ego. I might buy that. Others may say I am guilty of some kind of pride or cynicism. It's hard to be objective about that. One person I spoke to suggested that the spark of faith doesn't come from books, intellectual analysis, or going through the motions of liturgy and other forms of ritual.
I don't think most sacred traditions have an answer for someone like me because it wouldn't make sense to worry about someone who is faithless being interested in seeking something they have no reason to believe in. What about it? Have any suggestions for people in this situation? Thanks.