May Day 2022

The year is now 2022.

This is only my sixth entry in this blog since 2014, which I suppose isn't really that surprising to me given the twists and turns my life went through just before that hiatus and everything since. I spent 1998 to 2010 on message boards with religion, spirituality, science, politics, and community as the main themes. I also read quite a lot of books and articles on related topics including new age/self help, general spirituality, general religion, Buddhism (many varieties), interfaith reflections, mysticism, and even some open-minded monastic Christianity. 

I was able to practice with a Chan-Pureland sangha for a couple of years and then later even get a little first hand experience with Christian monasticism (as a layperson) after giving a more "high church" approach a try from what, 2010-2013? (I think my last service at the nearby church was early 2014 after a bit of an absence.) Late in 2013 I had to have open heart surgery because of some random defect and enjoyed reading a Buddhist book in a hospital while waiting so some test a week or so beforehand.

(As I am writing a heavy thunderstorm has just rolled in for this Sunday evening.)

I think, though, that some of the steam that drove my interactions online wore out. The people I chatted with on the message boards largely evaporated or went on repeat in a shrinking medium. Personally, I was too far from any Buddhist stuff to participate in person and the intellectual intrigue of the re-visiting of Christianity had faded. Meanwhile, political hate with a religious mask was on the rise and my own personal situation wasn't so great as to encourage the hobby of religious or spiritual exploration, whatever the mode or medium.

Not to mention that apparently I score really low on tests that aim to measure your likelihood of having what many people call spiritual or religious experiences, even though the experiences need not be tied to either. There is an difference between having an intense hobby related to pathways of meaning and questions of human existence and actually being committed to and drawing strength and meaning from such pathways.

Of course, a healthy curiosity and well-roundedness in a variety of topics isn't a bad thing, but, it is different than actual paths of faith or seeking because you are trying to put a face or name to something that you have had a brush with. I still see many interesting, inspiring, and true things from what I read, saw, and heard in the past. That is well. I even got to see a couple of Buddhist sites in China during a business trip in the fall of 2016.

However, I don't seem to be much for community so wherever I end up at different parts of the rest of my life, I can try to appreciate them for what they are as much as what they do or don't inspire in myself. I suppose we shall see where that leads.

Have a happy Sunday and a good week.